Tickle-Me-Tuesday - Edition 5

I love Chonda Pierce....She's hilarious!

Spring Cleaning....

I have always been very proud of the fact that no matter how scattered I am elsewhere, I've always been pretty organized at work and kept my desk and workplace neat. (Except the law office....but let's NOT go there. That was impossible!!)



This morning I sat down and immediately felt claustrophobic. I mean, I literally felt everything in here closing in on me. I looked around and realized it was seriously time for a spring cleaning to happen or Ty Pennington was going to need to park his bus in front of it.....seriously.


I give you the Before and After photos of my cleaning......





























Oh, the shame and humiliation. I can't believe I just posted that. I'm grossed out by the way it looked before. I can't believe we still have customers.

Rain, Rain Go Away

It's raining.

Again.

Actually, let me correct myself. It's storming.

This morning I decided to do a load of laundry before I left the house. That's when I noticed that only a trickle of water was coming out of the washing machine. *Fingers crossed the washer is just not working.*

Go ahead and uncross the fingers because there is no water. Anywhere. At any faucet in the house. Period.

I go into immediate panic mode any time there is no water or electricity because, well, I do. There's a VERY good reason God allowed me to be born in the time he did. I totally know why Nellie Olsen was such a snot. She had no running water or electricity. I can imagine it took much longer to put those ringlets in her hair without electricity.

Anyway, since we do also have the option of city water I didn't go into full blown panic mode....just like 80%. It's not like I always wake up late and find myself on a VERY tight schedule when getting ready in the mornings.

Anyway, since my mom has a broken foot and all and I know nothing about nothing outside, we were unable to turn on the city water. (How country do you have to be to have "city water".) This meant a trip to my grandparents to take a shower.

Actually, what it meant was I should have just gone back to bed and called in sick. It would have totally been believable since I left work sick yesterday.

Being at home sick means your mother making you go to bed. I caught up on some of my favorite shows in between the many trips to the bathroom .....I know. That's just EXACTLY what you wanted to know about me. Trust me....I didn't enjoy throwing everything back up that I had eaten since I was 6 1/2 either.

Anyway......is anyone else as disturbed over the hour long advertisements for attracting pedophiles masquerading as reality shows called "Little Miss Perfect" and "Toddlers and Tiaras" as I am?

I just can't imagine why you would advertise your 5 year old daughter dressed to look like she's 16 on national television. It's extremely creepy. Let me say though that I'm not totally against all of these kids and parents. Some of these young girls genuinely enjoy doing this. It's a hobby to them like dance, ballet or sports. I'm ok with that.....still creeped out....but totally understanding.

I do have a big problem with some of the moms. These women are horrible. It's so obvious they are making their children do this in order to live their dreams through their daughters....sick people. They say their daughters LOVE doing this and WANT to do it, but you see them on pageant day forcing their daughters into their dresses and telling them exactly what to do.

I'll be honest.....I've wanted to smack a couple of the mothers in the back of the head for their children. Disgusting.

I love Chelsea Handler's opinion of the show. She pretty much hits the nail on the head. Please forgive the one *word* in this video. She just describes it all so accurately.







Even Nellie Olsen would have thought some of these moms were off the radar with their nastiness.

Emotional

***Edited***

For some time now I have felt that Christians need to be real and just be honest when they're struggling. Hence, the post below. Just a few minutes ago I went over to the LPM Blog and read this post.

Isn't God amazing? He always gives us just what we need.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm angry. I'm filled with guilt. I'm tired. I'm grateful. I'm sad. I'm worried. I'm confused. I'm anxious.

I'm such a mixture of emotions lately.

Just a couple of months ago I found myself dealing with only one emotion really.....depression. I absolutely could not get a grip no matter what I did. I continued thinking something was wrong with me and I just wasn't following God close enough. Finally, after the urging of a few close friends and family members, I went to a doctor. To balance my emotions, hormones and deep depression I was put on medication for the first time in my life. The guilt has been unbearable. I just keep thinking that I should have been able to seek God more and solve this problem. The guilt and anger has only worsened as my depression has retreated. I should be happy about this......but all I feel is failure. Failure that I have to depend on a pill....not God.

I also feel very tired. I can't imagine how or why I can feel so excited to be in God's house one minute but feel like I'm going to a job the next. I'm so grateful that He would use someone as imperfect as I am......but I have moments that I wish He wouldn't. I have moments when I just want to escape from the constant criticism, over-eager church members who feel it's their right to know every detail of my life and I would love to escape from knowing every detail of their life. I have days that I just wish I could go to church, sit on the pew, listen to the sermon and leave. I wish I didn't feel like keeping up with everyone to pray for them. I wish I didn't have that burden. I wish I didn't know all the details of the "behind the scenes" action of church....all the issues going on. It only adds another burden. It only saddens me more.

I'm grateful to read of miracles from other Christians. I love hearing how God is working in their lives. I will never forget how I felt when I read of the miracle of baby Stellan on MckMamma's blog. Doctors told her that her son would surely die. God had other plans for him. After a few months of still celebrating this precious life, now it seems God has changed His mind or something. I find myself weeping over a child I've never met. My heart is SO heavy for a mother who has done nothing but praise her Heavenly Father for sparing her son......and now he is fighting for his life. Now it looks as if she may lose him.

I can't begin to understand why God allows things to happen the way they do. I don't understand His ways at all really. I just know that He always knows what's best. He reminds me of this constantly when I enter those moments of asking Him why he would allow everyone who prayed over this child before he was born to rejoice and believe he was healed, only to allow him to become so dangerously ill just months later.

I don't claim to have all the answers about God and why He does the things He does and makes the decisions that He makes. To be honest, I've stopped trying to have all the answers. The Bible says that His ways are above our ways and His thoughts above our thoughts. He sees the entire picture and we are only seeing a small corner of it. He knows what's best in our lives. No, I don't try to have the answers now. I just try to walk with Him and stay as close as I possibly can so when the storms come I don't have far to reach. I love knowing my Father is close to me and I am close to Him.

I even believe He understands when we are in a place of fear and confusion and asking Him why. He understands when we arrive in a place that we don't even know what to do or think or feel. He understands the sea of emotions I've been swimming in over the last five weeks.

I'm grateful He has been by my side and has never left. I'm grateful He knows what is best for us and that He sees the big picture.


1 Give ear to my words, O LORD,consider my sighing.
2 Listen to my cry for help,my King and my God,for to you I pray.
3 In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Psalm 5:1-3

Prayer

Please be in prayer for baby Stellan. If you are unfamiliar with MckMamma's blog, you should check it out. Stellan is a miracle baby that was not supposed to live by doctors' standards, but God had other plans for him. Now he is very sick. Please keep this sweet baby boy in your prayers.

Spring is Here!

Today is the first official day of spring!

This is exciting to some people...I'm more of a winter kind of girl myself. Spring just tells me that Summer is on the way. Summertime means you have to start bearing a little more skin and the less of me you can see, the better off you'll be. Trust me.

I am trying to look for the good though in every day life. I am trying to see the good that God has for me as I enter a new season.

Spring is a reminder though of new life. New beginnings.

There is a line in my favorite movie, Anne of Green Gables, that said "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes."

We are entering into a new season. We have the ability to enter with no mistakes....yet. It's up to us to keep it fresh and full of life.

Wednesday afternoon when I stepped outside the back door at church I saw a beautiful dogwood tree blooming at the edge of the cemetery. How ironic that something so beautiful and full of life could be blooming at the edge of a place full of death.

Dogwoods always remind me of Christ's love and His death. I know Easter is approaching when I see dogwoods blooming. Just like the dogwood at the edge of the cememtery, Easter is a picture of life at the edge of death.

Christ gave His life for us and was assumed dead and was buried. After 3 days, he arose! At the edge of death, in a place of depression.... He lived! When all hope was lost, he lived!

I'm so grateful that at a place in my life full of depression, no hope and death, I found life in Christ.

If you are at that place today and living on the edge of death, entering a place of no hope, I encourage you to look for life. Life found in Christ.

If you have already found that life but are living a way that is not full of life that glorifies Him, use this time to begin a new season of your life with Him. Start today living a life that is beautiful to God and that glorifies Him!

Because I'm excited!!!

Friday Night Plans

Where will I be Friday night?



Waiting in this parking lot.....

For this movie......



Wearing this shirt.....



If you don't get it.......

You should read the book.

Tickle-Me-Tuesday - Edition 4

First Service

In one word.

Awesome.

My prayer all along was that God was glorified through the service. That the attention wasn't on a nice, new building. It's all about Him. Not us, not the building......Him.

I think that was accomplished. You know, the thing that sticks out in my mind from our last service was everyone that spoke commented on how the spirit of God was always felt in our church. That's the thing about God. He proves that it's not the building....but the people who make up the church. His presence was so evident yesterday morning and it was a great service.

The association is having their Spring meeting at our church. Yesterday we were asked to sing two songs and our piano player is playing for the service. I was excited about this and it became even more exciting when someone told me that they NEVER use people from the church they hold the meeting at. They always bring someone else in.

It's an awesome opportunity for our choir.

And may I just say that they totally did a great job yesterday? I was blown away! They sounded great. We've also grown quite a bit in size which is such a blessing. I was starting to think I was running them all away.

John 11:25

God's timing never ceases to amaze me. So many times when I speak with another church member it's concerning the negative. It's talking about all that bothers us or all that we wish would change. In case you haven't caught on yet, I complain.....A LOT.

Last night I was feeling extremely overwhelmed by all I needed to get done. I arrived at church and grabbed a load of stuff to move over to the new church. There I did a couple of things that needed to be taken care of and rushed back over to conduct the children's choir practice. From there I ran back over to the new church to prepare some stuff for the adult choir practice that night to familiarize ourselves with the new church sound before Sunday. While there I unloaded on the Assistant Music Director that I just wished I wasn't in such a rush to get back over to the other church to have the kids music that night. For a long while my heart just wasn't in it and I was dreading it....especially since there was so much I needed to do.

Of course I had no choice and retreated back over to the old church. I wasn't sure how much the kids were feeling it, but the presence of God was so strong in there last night. We only got around to one song because Bryan began to walk them through the path of salvation and reminded them of their need for Jesus.....a lesson that's been taught SO many times. Last night was different somehow. I could just feel it. From the verse John 11:25, their memory verse for the month, he was able to explain everlasting life to them.

During the closing prayer I hoped and prayed that just one child's heart was opened.

Without further thought I retreated BACK to the new church to finish preparing for the night's choir practice.

This morning I received a call from the head of the Children's Ministry of our church with some good news.....not a negative call for once. Two young girls had decided to surrender their lives to Christ! They have requested to be baptized. Guess we'll get to break that new baptistery in sooner than we thought!

Praise the LORD!

He always comes through just when you're at your ropes end. He's always able to shine through and work....even when we're ready to give up and walk away.

I'm so grateful for the decision those young girls made. I'm so grateful that I will be blessed enough to see their baptism....their public announcement of the decision they've made. It's the best decision they will ever make!

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;"

Tickle-Me-Tuesday - Edition 3

Do you have to leave money for them after EVERY tooth?

Well, we reached another milestone with baby #1, except she's definitely not a baby anymore.


She lost her first tooth.I can't believe she's growing up. I'm in even great disbelief about how much more money you get from the tooth fairy these days. Let me tell you.....the recession has not effected her one bit. If you're looking for a sound place to invest your money, it's in teeth.


When I was a kid (omg....did I just use that phrase?) you got like a couple dollars.....maybe. Let me tell you she raked up the major $$$$.


On the bright side, if I lose my job, I could always just start pulling my teeth.

New Church Photos....Part 2

As promised, here are more photos from the new church. As you can probably tell, there is still a lot to be done, but I will try to get final photos of everything to post on here as soon as it's all complete.

Nursery

Primary Class

Children's Church

Check out this little tiny bathroom. Isn't that the cutest thing ever? There is one in the primary room and nursery for the little ones. It's so cute!! And it is now evident that I have an obsession with bathrooms since I took a picture of a bathroom sink in the other post. Maybe I'll address my obsession with bathrooms in another post one day.

Hall with photos of the building progress.

Storage Room

Office

Young Adult Classroom

Classroom

The Past, Present and Future

When I was 18 I worked for a company in Pace, FL. I was eventually transferred to our office in Brewton a few months after I began working there. One day when I was alone in the office a man came in to rent something and I had to leave my office and wait on the customer. He and I talked for a while and the fact that my mom and I sang together came up and he said he would pass along a CD to the music director at his church.

A few days later my mom spoke with her and we were booked to sing at the church. This was nothing unusual since we went to at least two churches every weekend to sing.


I had no idea in that moment how important that booking, that church, would become in my life.

The moment we walked in we, we commented on how the presence of God was so evident in this place. We arrived early to set up and met several people, including the music director, Crissy, and the pastor, Bryan.


The church reminded me so much of the church I grew up in......the church I was saved in.



After the service was over, everything was loaded by in the van and we were on the road home, we talked about how everything went. We couldn't believe how friendly the people were....how at home we felt.


I rode in silence for a while. I couldn't put my finger on it, but SOMETHING was different about that night. SOMETHING was different about that church. SOMETHING was different about those people.


Shortly after that night, maybe a couple months, I was in need of a new hairdresser. I walked into Xanadu Beauty Salon and a lady said "Hey I know you! You sang at our church a while back with your mother!"


That lady was Annette. She became my hairdresser.


We became instant friends. We talked about everything under the sun from church to the progress of the new building to my singing schedule to my sad social life and anything else we could think of. What? It was a beauty salon. That's what you do there.....talk.


Pretty soon, we were invited back to sing at a fund raiser.


Annette invited me to a Christmas Cantata at the church. The Cantata was "King of Glory, King of Love." The thing I remember the most was that the stage looked like a birthday cake. It was lined in garland and the mic stands were wrapped in garland and they looked like candles on the cake. Oh, what I would give for a picture of that!


I was invited to a couple of other services there and each time I was blessed. I loved this church and the people there.


During this timeline a lot of things had happened to me. I was very deeply hurt and scarred emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. As much as it scares me now, I remember being at a place that I told God if He didn't intervene I was walking away. I couldn't believe He had allowed the things that had happened to me to happen. I desperately needed something in my life to change.


One day while I was having my nails done at the beauty shop and I was talking to Annette about the fact that I was leaving my church and looking for another one. Of course I peppered it up with plenty of spiritual talk. I was raised in church and I knew what to say. The proper thing to say would not have been, "Hey I'm so beaten down, depressed, hurt, confused, humiliated, bitter, and angry that I'm leaving my current church but to be honest, I'm not sure I WANT to go to church. I've seen what church people do." Of course, I did the Christian thing and asked her to pray with me to find the right church. Before I left, she told me I should visit her church again. Sure, it was not very close to me, but I could still visit while I was looking around. I told her I might and then I left.


The truth was, I KNEW without a doubt in my mind that I was not in the church that was in God's will for my life. At the same time, I also was comfortable in my little routine and I did NOT want to face my family and tell them why I was leaving the only church family I had ever known. I did NOT want to reveal the true reasons to anyone.


October 2, 2005 - My first official Sunday at Zion Hill Baptist Church. Everyone was, as usual, very friendly and welcoming. I felt at home there. I was still unsure, however, if I wanted to be at church at all. I just wanted to go home and get away from it all to be perfectly honest. I was still somewhat uncomfortable because I knew no one and, believe it or not, I'm pretty shy around new people, which is unbelievable considering the fact that I met new groups of people every single week. This was different though. Church is where you are supposed to know everyone and feel comfortable.....feel at home and be yourself. I was scared out of my mind.


The sermon couldn't have been any more perfect for me that morning. God was definitely in it. The sermon was about not settling into your comfort zone. Sometimes it's uncomfortable to claim what God has promised for you and what He has for your future. WOW! I left in tears that morning and promised God I wouldn't give up on Him and I knew He wouldn't leave me or give up on me.


I settled into a new routine of attending church at Zion Hill. The first thing I was involved with was Trunk-or-Treat. I decorated my trunk like the Garden of Eden. That event allowed me to meet and get to know some more people in the church.


Before I knew it, I was friends with Tammy and she was asking me to help the kids sing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" in their Christmas program. We still joke that I should have ran away then. I had no idea I was becoming friends with someone I would get into so much trouble with.


In January I joined the choir. It was in the choir that I found my stride and felt completely at ease. I was beginning to feel like family. No one knew how badly I needed that. No one knew all that was going on in my life.


My family was completely unsupportive of the changes in my life and soon stopped speaking or interacting with me. In their defense, they had no idea about the things that had happened to me. Most of my closest friends were at my former church. I felt completely alone.


I took time off from singing to try to figure out exactly what God wanted me to do with my life. I had spent so much time being what others wanted me to be and being the "model church member" that I lost sight of my relationship with the Lord. I lost sight of who He wanted me to be.


Thankfully, I found support and friendship from some members of my new church family.

In February 2006, I became a member. I knew without a doubt by then that I was where God wanted me for this time in my life.


Although things remained strained between my family and myself for a while, God used His Word and sermons from the pastor to strengthen, teach and lead me. I actually became grateful for the situation I was in. My relationship with the Lord was better, stronger and closer than it had ever been.


In May I was introduced to decorating for VBS at Zion Hill. Maybe it's because it was my first year, but it was exciting and I loved it. Because I was the newbie and didn't know better, I taught with Becky. Ha!


By August things had began to settle down in my life. I was asked to become the Assistant Music Director. I was scared out of my mind. This was definitely something that I NEVER pictured myself doing. I enjoyed singing in the choir but I had always traveled from church to church singing, and I just didn't see myself doing something like this. I began to pray about it and God definitely opened my heart to the idea. I was really missing being more involved with music and I had been praying for doors to be opened. Sometimes I think God should smack me in the back of the head. He answered a prayer and then I was like "God, I'm just not sure about this because it's not exactly what I had in mind and I just need you to tell me what I should do because I'm just SO uncertain about this. It's SO outside of my comfort zone."


I do think I kind of heard Him say "HELLO! You asked and I provided. What are you babbling about?"


I took the position.


It was a great year of preparation. I had no idea though that the next year I would be asked to become the Music Director. I just thought I was scared being Assistant. I think I only filled in once.


Here I was someone who week after week, year after year stood in front of MUCH larger crowds and on my first official Sunday as Music Director I didn't know whether to pass out or throw up. I wasn't sure I would survive it. I did.


I've been very unsure about a lot during the last few years of my life. One thing is certain though. God has remained faithful through every minute of it. I also don't know what I would do without the support of my church family. It's kind of bitter sweet to leave the old building. I experienced the greatest growths in my walk with Christ while attending church in that building.


This was the altar I prayed at for my family, friends and myself.




This is the pew I sat in week after week to receive the message God had for me.




These are the chairs of the choir members that I once sat in, and now I direct.





This is the pulpit that I stand behind each week to lead congregational singing and then step down to allow the pastor to stand in to bring God's Word.



This is the piano that Mary sits at week after week and plays while the congregation sings.




This is the office that Bryan and I shared and I probably drove him out of his mind with my organized chaos.






This is the fellowship hall where I've shared countless meals, endless laughter and great times with my church family. I also used spray glue on one of those tables during VBS one year that infamously lead to my banning of using spray glue. If Ms. Ann thinks you went overboard.....it must have been pretty bad. HA!







This is the baptistry that led to one of the funniest moments in church that I've ever experienced. While Cassi was being baptized, Halee screamed "Don't drown her Bryan!!" You can't write those moments. I even believe God laughed that morning.




So many wonderful memories are attached to the old church, but as I've thought about it, it's not the building that has created the memories.....it's the people within the building. Just like the building does not make the church.....the people do. All of my memories of the old building would be void without the people that were involved.


With that, I say that I am looking forward to the future. I look forward to a larger facility with room for growth and more people for more memories. I look forward to all that I know God is going to accomplish through us all. If He didn't believe we could make a larger impact than we are now, He never would have given us a larger facility to accomplish His purpose in.