He Just Had To Go There

Well, it's no secret that I am somewhat OCD and it has especially taken over since I became the music minister. I kind of had a meltdown Sunday night when only 6 people showed up for choir practice. Yes, that's right.....6.

I understand that Sunday night was plagued by the flu, bad weather and travel for others. Sunday night's attendance didn't irritate me so much as the last two months of low attendance that did.

Our choir has apparantly not gotten adjusted to me and the fact that I want to learn at least one new song each week or at the very least pull something we haven't done in a long time. For so long they sang the same three or four tired songs and well, frankly, I was sick of it.

So since the low attendance from Sunday I've just tried to overcome the fact that I was upset and not be offended, but the truth is, I was. I just dealt with emotions all week that ranged from self-doubt to anger. I had resolved by Tuesday night to drop it and move on. In a moment of anger I declared "Fine. They want to sing the same songs over and over. Fine. We'll sing Standing on the Solid Rock and Somebody Loves Me Sunday. Fine. They don't care. I don't either. That's just FINE!"

Last night as I was working on the children's music and I had gotten over my anger Bryan (the pastor) asked me what the choir was singing Sunday since we obviously hadn't been able to practice anything for Sunday. Before I could answer he said, "Well, I've pulled some songs that the choir is familiar enough with to not have to practice."

Yep, that's right. Sitting there was "Somebody Loves Me" and "Standing On the Solid Rock". Now, there just aren't any appropriate words for me to express how angry seeing those songs made me. I felt like recreating the scene from Troop Beverly Hills where Shelly Long throws her husbands clothes out the window and the guy blowing the leaves just continues to blow them in a pile. If only we would have had a leaf blower and an open window in Bryan's office, those songs would have bit the dust.

Can't you just imagine the blessings that will be received from those songs on Sunday? No doubt everyone in the congregation will be blessed by the attitude with which I will lead the choir while presenting these songs for worship. I can just feel the Spirit descending now can't you?

Yes, I'm back to praying for deliverance and forgiveness.